It's probably nothing! Is that a medical diagnosis nowadays?
The "probably nothing" could be anything from harmless to deadly. So I am wondering, is "probably nothing" the right diagnosis here or shouldn't the attending doctor try to check it out in order to be sure that it is actually "nothing"?
Waiting for six months and coming back to check again if the "probably nothing" has grown or changed in any way - that is the way the analysis ends.
Hello? This must be a joke.
But supposedly it's not. Do people who say such things even know what it feels like to the patient and/ or their family?
When you read in the newspapers about the collapse of the German health system, you don't really believe it. After all we are a country that has mandatory health insurance and still good hospitals and competent medical staff.
But then it hits you and you are in the middle of all this. There is a difference between general and private health insurance and clearly the focus is on the ones that can be charged more.
It makes me mad...
But thank God - although not sure if we have him to thank for that - we have the freedom to get second opinions and some doctors don't rely on "probably nothing". They offer to take out"whatever it is that is probably nothing", no matter how much he can charge. It is comforting but then the fear of the result kicks in and you go back to not sleeping at night until you know.
05 April, 2009
The one-hour-vacation
Thursday, Apr 2nd in Stuttgart
Today was really the first day this year where I could feel that the winter is finally taking off.
It was one of those days where some people still walk around in their wintercoats while others, mainly teenagers have already taken out their tank tops and ballerinas. This of course is a little too early considering that temperatures where still in the 60s, but it gives you an outlook on what will come – probably in about two weeks, when you consider how we kept skipping spring in favor of summer over the last few years.
Well anyway, getting out of work really early due to my sick counterpart, I had a whole hour to myself before getting on the train back to Munich and I enjoyed it with some Frappuccino and my newspaper on the Schlossplatz in Stuttgart sitting amongst hundreds of other sun lovers. This feels like a very short but relaxing vacation! It is nice to see the sun or even the daylight while being outside after this long and horrible winter and I can’t wait to get back to Munich and enjoy the Nymphenburg Park and the English Garden on the weekend.
Today was really the first day this year where I could feel that the winter is finally taking off.
It was one of those days where some people still walk around in their wintercoats while others, mainly teenagers have already taken out their tank tops and ballerinas. This of course is a little too early considering that temperatures where still in the 60s, but it gives you an outlook on what will come – probably in about two weeks, when you consider how we kept skipping spring in favor of summer over the last few years.
Well anyway, getting out of work really early due to my sick counterpart, I had a whole hour to myself before getting on the train back to Munich and I enjoyed it with some Frappuccino and my newspaper on the Schlossplatz in Stuttgart sitting amongst hundreds of other sun lovers. This feels like a very short but relaxing vacation! It is nice to see the sun or even the daylight while being outside after this long and horrible winter and I can’t wait to get back to Munich and enjoy the Nymphenburg Park and the English Garden on the weekend.
26 September, 2008
Dirndl and Lederhosen as a business outift... or my visit to the Oktoberfest 2008
It's another morning in Munich and at 7:30am I am wondering whether all Munich works on or around the Oktoberfest. The subways are full with people wearing Dirndl and Lederhosen, but also carry Laptops and big purses.
Coming to the Munich office for the first time this week, the mystery of all the Dirndls and Lederhosen is being solved. People go to work already in preparation to go to the 'Wiesn' afterwards or ideally before 12 in order to still get a table in one of the tents and to have an excuse to start excessive drinking before it gets dark outside.
Around 6pm I make my way towards the Wiesn to meet a friend and his colleagues for free beer and "Hendl" (chicken). Sometimes I have wondered how foreign people know how to get there since all announcements in the station and the subways are in German or more Bavarian. But there is no way you could miss it since everyone seems to head in the same direction any time after 10am.
The Hacker tent is as popular as any other and considering that the rain is pouring down - am I glad I am not wearing a Dirndl now - the queues to get in are long and the tent full.
Here I am with an almost empty battery in my cell and nowhere dry to go to. It takes 20min before they let another group of people in and I make sure I am one of them. Inside I run into a friend from Eichstätt who even took a day off from work to come.
At the tables everyone is standing on the benches although I have to say this is a safety hazard since all the beer makes everyone so dizzy that standing on the solid floor is already a job some of them can't handle anymore. But the music is good, everyone is singing and drinking and eating and laughing and dancing and kissing and having a good time.
After some food and two sips of beer I am ready to do some bench-dancing and flirting myself. Being the only woman at the table was a privilege I only enjoy for about an hour. Suddenly a norwegian Dirndl-maid jumps up and dances with us. We have a lot of fun, especially me when I listen to the drunks trying to speak to her in English. The translation of one of the guys is just fabulous. I am really amazed how one can come up with such a story out of the blue on what the Norwegian is actually talking about.
That is an experience I haven't had in a few years since I am not the biggest fan of beer festivals! But it is fun - once a year. :)
Coming to the Munich office for the first time this week, the mystery of all the Dirndls and Lederhosen is being solved. People go to work already in preparation to go to the 'Wiesn' afterwards or ideally before 12 in order to still get a table in one of the tents and to have an excuse to start excessive drinking before it gets dark outside.
Around 6pm I make my way towards the Wiesn to meet a friend and his colleagues for free beer and "Hendl" (chicken). Sometimes I have wondered how foreign people know how to get there since all announcements in the station and the subways are in German or more Bavarian. But there is no way you could miss it since everyone seems to head in the same direction any time after 10am.
The Hacker tent is as popular as any other and considering that the rain is pouring down - am I glad I am not wearing a Dirndl now - the queues to get in are long and the tent full.
Here I am with an almost empty battery in my cell and nowhere dry to go to. It takes 20min before they let another group of people in and I make sure I am one of them. Inside I run into a friend from Eichstätt who even took a day off from work to come.
At the tables everyone is standing on the benches although I have to say this is a safety hazard since all the beer makes everyone so dizzy that standing on the solid floor is already a job some of them can't handle anymore. But the music is good, everyone is singing and drinking and eating and laughing and dancing and kissing and having a good time.
After some food and two sips of beer I am ready to do some bench-dancing and flirting myself. Being the only woman at the table was a privilege I only enjoy for about an hour. Suddenly a norwegian Dirndl-maid jumps up and dances with us. We have a lot of fun, especially me when I listen to the drunks trying to speak to her in English. The translation of one of the guys is just fabulous. I am really amazed how one can come up with such a story out of the blue on what the Norwegian is actually talking about.
That is an experience I haven't had in a few years since I am not the biggest fan of beer festivals! But it is fun - once a year. :)
08 July, 2008
It's been 10 years
I am in a limo from JFK airport to Manhattan and I can't believe that I am really here. I made it, I overcame my tears at the airport in Munich, saying goodbye to my boyfriend and earlier at home to my family and friends. And although I am still sad about having left them behind, I am very proud that I took that huge step into a new world, a world that is totally unknown to me and I will conquer it all by myself, with the help of new friends - hopefully.
Seeing the skyline of New York City for the very first time takes my breath away. It is so beautiful, I don't know what to say. There is downtown with the twin towers and the other high buildings of the financial district, then there is midtown with the Empire State and the beautiful Chrysler Building and after all there are the bridges from Brooklyn to Manhattan.
It looks like in the movies, just better and I am in love!
Exactly ten years ago I took a plane to the US to be an aupair in NJ.
Exactly ten years ago I started to fulfill one of my dreams.
Exactly ten years ago I fell in love with the US, more exactly New York City.
Exactly ten years ago I started to become independent.
Exactly ten years ago I started to learn how to stand up for myself without any support from anyone.
Exactly ten years ago my life in my second home started and I am still thankful to have had that opportunity. It changed me and partly made me into the person I am today.
If I had known what would happen to me within the next 13 months, I don't know if I had ever gotten on that plane, but isn't life about the risks you take? Isn't that what makes life interesting?
I think it is and I wouldn't be the person I am today if not especially for the first four months after 7/7/98...
And if you ask me today... Yes, I would do it again!
Seeing the skyline of New York City for the very first time takes my breath away. It is so beautiful, I don't know what to say. There is downtown with the twin towers and the other high buildings of the financial district, then there is midtown with the Empire State and the beautiful Chrysler Building and after all there are the bridges from Brooklyn to Manhattan.
It looks like in the movies, just better and I am in love!
Exactly ten years ago I took a plane to the US to be an aupair in NJ.
Exactly ten years ago I started to fulfill one of my dreams.
Exactly ten years ago I fell in love with the US, more exactly New York City.
Exactly ten years ago I started to become independent.
Exactly ten years ago I started to learn how to stand up for myself without any support from anyone.
Exactly ten years ago my life in my second home started and I am still thankful to have had that opportunity. It changed me and partly made me into the person I am today.
If I had known what would happen to me within the next 13 months, I don't know if I had ever gotten on that plane, but isn't life about the risks you take? Isn't that what makes life interesting?
I think it is and I wouldn't be the person I am today if not especially for the first four months after 7/7/98...
And if you ask me today... Yes, I would do it again!
02 July, 2008
Feelings Flashback
It's strange how after ten years you can still remember a certain feeling. Is that even possible? Can people remember how they felt exactly at a certain time or event?
After what I experienced lately, I would say: Yes!
Yesterday I "got my way" and I find myself pushed back 10 years when I did get my way once before in a similar situation.
And I can't help but wonder - does that feeling have to come back every ten years? do I find myself at such a crossroads every ten years?
Maybe this is what makes life special? Those crossroads where you can't decide easily which way to go, but you fight, balance reasons to go the one or the other way and then when you decide to go down the road you don't know, it feels scary, but in a good way.
Well, last time it worked out quite well and so I am trying it again.
After all, mankind is a creature of habit!
After what I experienced lately, I would say: Yes!
Yesterday I "got my way" and I find myself pushed back 10 years when I did get my way once before in a similar situation.
And I can't help but wonder - does that feeling have to come back every ten years? do I find myself at such a crossroads every ten years?
Maybe this is what makes life special? Those crossroads where you can't decide easily which way to go, but you fight, balance reasons to go the one or the other way and then when you decide to go down the road you don't know, it feels scary, but in a good way.
Well, last time it worked out quite well and so I am trying it again.
After all, mankind is a creature of habit!
14 February, 2008
1000 Dollars for lunch This is what it must feel like to be an easy girl :)
Today I got paid 1000 US$ for having lunch with a few coworkers. Sounds like something that never happens...
Well, it had a reason. I am bringing one of them something back from the US and he got the money from the bank today.
What was the real fun part about it though, was standing in the bank, an older gentleman next to us, Stefan gets out the money from his wallet and hands it over to me, asking me to count it if it is enough. The gentleman looked at us and you could see what he was thinking... "Wow, is that expensive nowadays!" So that's what it feels like... Very interesting.
Well, it had a reason. I am bringing one of them something back from the US and he got the money from the bank today.
What was the real fun part about it though, was standing in the bank, an older gentleman next to us, Stefan gets out the money from his wallet and hands it over to me, asking me to count it if it is enough. The gentleman looked at us and you could see what he was thinking... "Wow, is that expensive nowadays!" So that's what it feels like... Very interesting.
20 January, 2008
About the things you think you want to do and your weaker self that leads you to do things you don't want to do
It keeps happening to me.
First of all, my new year's resolutions:
- take it more easy, don't stress yourself in your free-time
- read "Die Zeit" every week and don't pile the issues on the bench for half a year
- read the books that are waiting to be opened for the first time forever in your bedroom
- make your job a thing you like to do, whatever it takes
Well, as for the first resolution. It starts to work out, I am home more often and I even started to use my couch. As for all the other things, here we are with the problems.
I really want to read more and watch less TV. Not that I usually sit and watch, it's more background noise for some other activity. After all, what the TV is offering is not very attractive to me, but I think everyone agrees with me. I wonder who likes to watch some b-class celebrities trying to take a bath with 40,000 cockroaches in the Australian outback or some TV judge to come to a verdict about some even worse actors? Not to speak of the soaps, that all have the same stories, the good and the bad guys, the big love, kidnapping, failed marriages, abortions and all the things that happen to regular people within two years. Yeah, sure.
But I wasn't going to talk about the bad shows on TV, I wanted to point out, that I want to read more and somehow end up, watching TV or - a little better - DVD instead of reading or doing other things.
Why is that? Have I gotten so lazy outside of work that I can't do what I want to because the atmosphere never seems right?
Well, this weekend the atmosphere was right and I am a lot happier now on Sunday night. I didn't miss watching TV and I am happy I got over my weaker self and did what I wanted to do. And I intend to keep going in that direction. I like it even more than I imagined when I made the resolutions! :)
Keep reading, everyone. It's worth it!
First of all, my new year's resolutions:
- take it more easy, don't stress yourself in your free-time
- read "Die Zeit" every week and don't pile the issues on the bench for half a year
- read the books that are waiting to be opened for the first time forever in your bedroom
- make your job a thing you like to do, whatever it takes
Well, as for the first resolution. It starts to work out, I am home more often and I even started to use my couch. As for all the other things, here we are with the problems.
I really want to read more and watch less TV. Not that I usually sit and watch, it's more background noise for some other activity. After all, what the TV is offering is not very attractive to me, but I think everyone agrees with me. I wonder who likes to watch some b-class celebrities trying to take a bath with 40,000 cockroaches in the Australian outback or some TV judge to come to a verdict about some even worse actors? Not to speak of the soaps, that all have the same stories, the good and the bad guys, the big love, kidnapping, failed marriages, abortions and all the things that happen to regular people within two years. Yeah, sure.
But I wasn't going to talk about the bad shows on TV, I wanted to point out, that I want to read more and somehow end up, watching TV or - a little better - DVD instead of reading or doing other things.
Why is that? Have I gotten so lazy outside of work that I can't do what I want to because the atmosphere never seems right?
Well, this weekend the atmosphere was right and I am a lot happier now on Sunday night. I didn't miss watching TV and I am happy I got over my weaker self and did what I wanted to do. And I intend to keep going in that direction. I like it even more than I imagined when I made the resolutions! :)
Keep reading, everyone. It's worth it!
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